Bitcoin consistenly delivers the best weird news. For a while you could buy a physical bitcoin with a scratch-off private key for safekeeping. Everyone who's surprised that many of them were found to have been subsequently emptied please return your cynicism units to your local Department of Obvious Outcomes for reprogramming. The real surprise is the manufacturer trying to make it right.
If you're sailing your boat (as one does) based on the well-understood fundamental principles of sailing, you might get everything completely wrong.
You might hit something! If you do, be careful what you put on the insurance report as only two moving objects can collide, if one is stationary they allide instead. (What's it called when two stationary objects hit each other?)
Now that your boat has {co,a}llided, it's time to find out how fast you can swim (from the sharks of course). Counterintuitively, that speed is the same, even if you were sailing on a sea of syrup. Via the inimitable Matt Levine.
If only you had paid the toll and taken your boat through the tunnel, this whole debacle could have been avoided.
Political protest via livestreaming a flag in the middle of nowhere and then a band of internet miscreants tracks it down by flight paths and astronomy? Shitty scifi plot but just regular 2017 reality.
I fundamentaly don't get what twitter is for besides being verbally abused or subjected to viral shaming. Oh, I guess you can negotiate $25 million battery installation contracts with strict deadlines. I don't know if I'm kidding or not by suggesting that twitter should get a cut. You maybe can also declare war so I guess that goes into the 'minus' column.